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My Lord and My God

Thomas’ Sunday. [Acts 5:12–20; John 20:19–31] My Lord and my God! (John 20:28) cried the holy apostle Thomas. Do you feel the strength with which he has grasped the Lord, and how tightly he is holding onto Him? A drowning man grasps the plank on which he hopes to be saved in the same way. We will add that whoever does not have the Lord like this for himself and does not keep himself this way in rela?tion to the Lord, does not yet believe in the Lord as he should. We say: “Saviour and Lord,” meaning that He is the Saviour of all; but Thomas says: “my Saviour and Lord.” He who says: “my Saviour,” feels his own salvation proceeding from Him. The feeling of salvation lies ad?jacent to the feeling of perishing, out of which the Saviour pulls whomever He saves. The feeling of perishing, for a man who is life-lov?ing by nature and who knows that he cannot save himself, forces him to seek the Saviour. When he finds Him and feels the power of salva?tion proceeding from Him, he grasps Him tightly and does not want to be torn from Him, though he be deprived for this of life itself. Such a nature of events in the spiri?tual life of a Christian are not only imagined in the mind, but are expe?rienced in deed. Then, both his faith and his union with Christ become firm, like life and death. Only such a person can sincerely cry: Who shall separate me! (cf. Rom. 8:35).

Saint Theophan the Recluse